ooops, I think I blogged.

Testing? Testing? one. two. Check. Check.... One. Two.

*Clears throat*

Hi. It's been a while. I don't have a lot to say. Actually I'm sure I have plenty to say. However, because I am tired but wanted to sneak in a quick post here you go...

There was this girl that I thought was SOOOO cool. She was amazing, I wanted to be like her when I grew up. She is a roller girl. She was my girl crush. You know when you admire someone so much and you learn everything there is to know about them. I googled her, I e-stalked her. I liked the way she looked, I liked her style, I liked her attitude. About 3 years ago I went to my very first roller derby bout. I was hooked. As we practiced and practiced and got ready to play I kept thinking "I get to meet her, I get to talk to her"

Well... hello... she is just a girl. From North Dakota. Yeah, it was pretty silly.

It was my very first bout. She was there to play the main bout. I was all giddy and stupid when she kept passing by, skating during open skate. "Oh my, that's her, I get to talk to her, what am I going to say?" This was my internal monologue- it sounded much more awesome in my head.

Finally, we were all stretching and getting ready and she was sitting right across from me. I don't remember what everyone was talking about but I commented on how I liked her glasses. I asked her where she got them, they were very unique. (I really did like them) and she stopped smiling, looked at me and said "Pff.. I don't f*#king know... probably like a glasses store, where else do you get glasses" *eye roll* Later that evening we were at the after party and I was at a table, thanking some other girls for letting us be in the mixer- she looked over gave me another eyeroll and shook her head "Whatever, mixers take up way too much time, no one really comes until the second bout anyway so I don't even know why we have them"

At first I was like "OMG, why did I talk to her, wtf was I thinking! I'm not cool enough to talk to her like I'm her friend or something" Yes, I pretty much reverted back to being an awkward, ugly 8th grade girl. I stayed there... until a week ago.

Last weekend we played against Bemidji. There are also girls on that team that I admire. I like watching their A team play. For the more part- those girls are freakin' awesome. However, there are some girls on that team that aren't so nice. They were like little divas. They complained that everything we did was wrong. If that was the case, then how did we WIN?!

That is when it clicked

I was idolizing this girl for no good reason- only because I liked her style and the way she played derby. Then I realized that even though I may not be an A team player, I could probably hip check that bitch- I may not be AS good as her, but I'm pretty damn close. I could give her a run for her money.

She let me down and made me realize how silly it is that I thought she was cool in the first place. She's just a derby girl. From North Dakota. Just like me... except I'm a nice person (usually) and If someone were to compliment me and want to talk to me, I would take the time to at least say thank you.

The end.