Tuesday, January 24, 2006

When I die...

So really, who hasn't thought about their death? Since I'm a freakin' paranoid maniac when it comes to world distruction and/or fatal freak accidents, I have thought a lot about my death. No, not really unhealthy thoughts, just the simple "what do I want to have served at my funeral?" "who will come" "organ donation?" When Tanya died in the car accident, I gots to thinking about my own funeral and how I want to have a say on what goes on, because you never know when you could die. Could be tomorrow. Tanya didn't know. So anyway... for all to read and know... here is my funeral: rough draft for now...

First, I want to be creamated (is that how you spell it?) I don't know why, I just prefer that over having my body slowly decomposing in the ground. I want my ashes to be spread over WoodLake..... or whatever... I guess that part doesn't really matter, and besides I don't know if that is leagal any more. But before I'm burned to a crisp, I want my body to be donated to science. Some Medical student somewhere can learn stuff about the human body by studying me. I have no ill thoughts about that whatsoever, really... cut me up, and learn, at least my dead body would be useful that way. They'll be excited to find my pins in my feet. I know it is hard to find young female bodies to study because those are the ones that are the most relunctant to giving their body up to science. Not saying I'm going to die soon... I hope not... God I hope not, but If I do.... it'll be useful. Thats all i'm sayin'

On to my funeral... Don't dress up just for me. Don't wear those uncomfortable shoes and that shirt with the scratchy collar. Jeans and a nice top will do. You never dressed special for me durning my lifetime, why start when I'm dead? Don't get mad for people that just can't come to my funeral because they dont handle funerals well.... I know how they feel. They'll grieve in their own way.

"Amazing Grace" is a MUST. I also want "season's of love" from the "rent" soundtrack played... and it has to be the MOVIE version, not the original cast version. I love that song, and always will, and it is very fitting for a funeral.

FOOD: I love picnic food. Potato salad, egg salad, turkey sandwiches with mayo, no pasta salads though, I don't care who makes it, no one really likes eating them. little smokies, Karissa can bring her Rotelle, Tacos for Kevin. Oh, and movie theatrer popcorn... the REAL stuff from the theater. (not to eat during my funeral, just after) Come on people, I'm dead here, this is a last request... it has to be real theater popcorn.

FLOWERS: I love roses... I know they are expensive, so colored daisies will do.

EULOGY: Just say what you want... even if its something like "April sure was a good driver" or "April was weird" but SOMEONE has to say something.

Don't complain about how long the church service is. Chances are the only time most of you are IN a church is to go to babtisms, weddings and funerals.



Lastly... when I'm gone... blog about it.

6 comments:

April said...

Oh, and I don't want to be dressed in a floral dress. In fact, skip the dress, I hate wearing dresses. I want jeans and a nice top. Not red though, I look icky in red.

Penny said...

Well April I realy don't know what to say about that. I'm sure we wouldn't have to worry about it any time soon. But thanks for the info. I like the popcorn idea. We should be able to work that out. I guess maybe I should write something down about that too. But I realy don't care just so you don't spend a lot of money on me cuz I'll be dead and why bury a lot of money in the ground. The creamating thing sounds good, I don't like the idea of sharing ground with all those bugs either. Well enough of that stuff hows the moving going?? When do I get to see your house? love ya

BoneDaddy said...

I'd complain about the church service if it was someone I wasn't that close to but whose funeral I felt obligated to attend.
I'd go cremated, because that way all anyone has to pay for is a cardboard casket. Otherwise, I haven't given the funeral part that much thought, because even if people don't respect my wishes, what am I gonna do? I'm dead! If any of the stuff about ghosts is true, I'll be too confused to haunt them, and I won't be there to watch the festivities. I guess I give more thought to the actual dying part.

Josie, group organizer said...

I hate death. I hate the idea of it. People dying are the worst fear I have. I don't know why. When I hear my grandparents talk about their funeral arrangements I just want to run the other direction and think they will be immortal. I don't know if it's that I'm afraid of hell (damn catholic upbringing) or afraid there might not even be one or that I haven't accomplished enough in my life...I just can't stand it. I'd be one of those nuts if I had to money to just freeze my body in the chance that maybe someday, somewhere someone could unfreeze me and i could live again.

BoneDaddy said...

You should read about Buddhists and their ideas on the art of dying. That or The Buried Soul, by Timothy Taylor, or anything by Dr. Kubler-Ross. All three ideas are backed by years of research and spiritual study.

Karissa (mommy) said...

I have no problem with death. When I die...well...I'll be dead.

But I don't want you to die before me April. I don't like to deal with death when it's other people, so you can't. Take that woman!