Dealing with life... and death

I drove to DL last night. I got into town, and called my parents to let them know tht I'm in town. My dad told me that my gradpa isn't doing well at all. He has Alzteimers (sp?) and has been living in a Home for the past 3 or so years. So I went to see him today. I went with my dad, and when I walked in that room, I was soooo mortified by what I saw. I was trying to imagine the worst. But there I saw my grandpa laying in bed, he was nothing but skin and bones. He hasn't eaten in almost 4 days the nurse guy said. He hasn't been able to swallow well for a long time and so they have his head proped up with a ring pillow around his whole neck. His mouth was wide open and his breathing was very strained. I haven't seen my grandpa without a baseball cap on for a long time, and his head was so tiny and frail. He was sleeping and my dad bent down and talked to him and he opened his eyes just for a second and let out a little moan. He can't talk and he didn't move his mouth. I just lost it. I told my dad I couldn't be there any more, and I just started to cry. I bent down and gave him a kiss on his cheek, and we turned around and left. I feel so bad for him, because I know his time has come, and this waiting thing is the hardest. I know he is in pain, because just looking at him, you can tell. But the staff at the Nursing home is very kind, and they've taken good care of him while he has been there. I know it sounds kind of bad, but I wish he would die soon, so he doesn't have to be in so much discomfort. It was very hard to see that, and part of me wishes I didn't go, but I'm glad I got to see him one last time, cause I am not going back there, its just too sad and I don't want to remember him that way. I wasn't planning my trip home last night until last minute, but I'm glad I went home because my grandpa probably won't last another week, and I hope for his sake, he doesn't.


On that note...um... how to tastefully change the subject... Josie and I went and looked at houses that are for rent in DL. There was only 4 and we only found 3 of them. The last one we looked at is super cute, it is pretty small, but out of the 3, it is the best. It has new siding and a larger yard and the neigbors aren't as close. I can see my parents house from the front door, I thought that was entertaining. I have an aunt and uncle that live down the street from it too :) Anyway, here is a pic below.

I have an infection in my second peircings in my ear. Yeah, its gross. I made my mom try to clean it and drain it and put an earing in it this morning. An Earring wouldn't go in, so she took one of her needles (that she uses for her MS meds, Copacsone, I don't know how to spell it) and poked me and I screamed, and then finally we got it in. Ewww... it is gross and painful. But the other ear didn't work at all, so now I only have one earring in one ear. I feel like such a baby, because I know this is normal, but still, why do people do this to themselves?

Tomorrow is Blake-A-Roo's 21st B-day! YAY!!! I can't wait to bring him out to the bar, we're gonna have a blast! Blake, you just wait and see, you're gonna LOVE dancing (no, I don't dance, but I'm sure you'll find someone) We're having a nice dinner before, get him full of food so he has something to soak up all that liquor. Don't worry, you're in good hands, I won't let you drink more that you can handle, I'll cut ya off.

So that was my short trip home, But hey, there is a show on right now on the History Channel about that thing Doug was talking about... with the dead people made into art and stuff... so I'll write more tomrrow. peace out (oh yeah, i really just said that)